


Can You Hear Me Scream | Please Don't Leave Me

by safe_haven



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/safe_haven/pseuds/safe_haven
Summary: Peter is not coping well with the memories of Titan, Tony is there to try and help.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> \--inspired by my nightmares.  
> I hope you ease up soon.

_"Please Mr. Stark, I don't want to go."_

_Fear. Scared out of his goddamn mind. The world blurred as he hung desperately from Tony's body, scrambling for him._

_"I'm sorry."_

_Black._

_Then, pain._

. . .

It was 3 in the morning, but the entire compound was woken by the sound of Peter screaming for Tony. The only thing louder than the screaming were the kid's sobs.

Tony was the first one to his room. He commanded that Friday open his door and increase the lighting, and rushed to Peter's bed, where the young boy was crying, entire body shaking so hard, Tony could barely touch him.

"Peter!" he called, his voice slightly louder than the screams. "Peter, buddy, I need you to wake up." By this time, a whole team of superheroes had gathered at the door, watching in concern as Tony struggled to pull Peter out of his nightmare.

Finally, Peter's eyes snapped open, but the panic that filled them was almost worse than the screaming. "Mr. Stark," he gasped, chest heaving. "Please, _please_ Mr. Stark." He pawed at Tony's back, desperate to get his arms around Tony's body. He clung to his neck like it was his lifeline. Tears ran heavily down his face.

"Mr. Stark, I don't want to go, please." His voice reached a terrified pitch, and he dissolved into sobs again. Tony held him tightly, whispering reassurances to the kid.

"You're not going to go," he assured. "You're here. You're real. You're solid." He pulled back just a little, managing to coax Peter into giving him one of his hands. Tony slowly led the kid's hand until it was resting on his cheek. "Feel that, Pete? You're real. You're alive. It's okay, it's over. You're safe now."

Peter stared, eyes red and scared witless. His mouth hung open, and he sniffled. Tony watched reality and sense flood back into his gaze.

"I don't wanna go," he repeated quietly. Tony pulled him into an embrace, squeezing him as tightly as he could. Peter pressed his face into Tony's neck, taking in the warmth and comfort. His breathing slowly worked itself back down to normal. If he noticed the other Avengers standing at the door, he didn't say. Just clung on to Tony.

"I had the dream again," he murmured. Tony reached up and buried his fingers in Peter's hair, slowly massaging the crown of his head.

"I know, buddy," he said. "I know. There's no reason to be scared now, you hear me? You're okay."  

Before the Snap, Peter was quite clingy, and also quite jumpy. He would have nightmares of a frog that could tap dance and go running for Tony, crying the whole way there. Now, he would have nightmares that would make a grown man head's spin, and he would try to brave it alone.

Tony once woke up at four a.m one morning to find Peter sitting on the roof, terrifyingly close to the edge. When Tony asked why he was up there, Peter had just shrugged and answered, "I had a nightmare." What kind of nightmare would make a 15 year old decide that life wasn't worth living anymore?

Another morning, Tony had tried to get Peter to talk through it. Peter sat on the couch, cross legged, hands tucked into his lap.

 _"Things beyond your worst imagination,"_ he had said that time. _"I...I've seen things worse than I could ever describe."_ His whole body began to shake then, a shudder tearing through his spine.

Peter whispering something brought Tony back to the present.

"Sorry, kid. What was that?"

"I'm sorry to bother you. You shouldn't have to deal with this. I'll try not to...not to wake you next time." His voice was shaking, low and unsure. Tony pulled away indignantly. He pushed a hand under Peter's chin so he would be forced to make eye contact.

"Listen, kid. I refuse to let you brave this storm alone. Whenever you have a nightmare, even the slightest bit of one, you come to me immediately, okay?" Peter nodded, though he didn't seem so sure about it. However, true to his word, Peter Parker went to Tony for help.

.     . .

_1 a.m._

Tony woke with a start to find Peter crouching on the floor next to his bed, shielding his head with his arms.

"Woah, Pete," Tony said, voice heavy with sleep. "You good, kiddo?" Peter simply shook his head. "Nightmare?" A moment's pause, and then a nod. Tony sighed, rolling out of bed and onto the floor next to Peter. The kid flinched away from the sudden closeness.

"It's okay, Underoos. It's just me. Just me." He took hold of one of Peter's arms, pulling him slowly towards him. Peter complied with the movement, finding himself curled against Tony's chest. They sat like that for a while, Tony rubbing Peter's arm over and over again to assure himself that _Peter was real. Not dust. Solid. Skin. Bone._

Soon, Peter’s body shook against Tony’s in what he thought was laughter, but found quickly to be sobs. His heart broke for the little kid, so small and scared out of his mind. Tony pushed his fingers into the back of Peter’s curls, massaging in what he hoped was a comforting manner as Peter cried.

"Oh, kid," Tony murmured. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

The next words Peter said almost gave Tony a heart attack.

"I want to die."

All of the air was sucked out of the room. Tony froze, his hand trapped in Peter's hair and his body in the middle of rocking the kid.

"I'm exhausted." Peter sighed, pressing his face into Tony's chest. "And weak."

Tony resumed his soothing actions, rubbing his thumb along the nape of Peter's neck and rocking him back and forth, grip steady on his back.

"I know, Pete. But you're doing so, so well."

That seemed to calm him down considerably. Peter had found himself longing for the scent of Mr. Stark's cologne more and more lately. The feeling of being held by him, of feeling solid and real and not like dust.

_Please tell me I'm not like dust._

Peter touched a hand to his own stomach, pressing until it hurt to make sure he was still there. Then, he looked around, almost frantically, for a clock. _1:24 a.m._ Peter knew that he couldn't see the time in dreams, or nightmares. It was one of the few things that kept him grounded to the here and now.

Hysteria began to rise in his throat, however, when Tony shifted as if he were going to leave. His body filled to overflowing with a high pitched panic. Peter flailed minutely, his breathing picking up considerably.

"Woah, kid. What's up? What's going on?" Tony stared at Peter's eyes as they glazed over. Tony knew this meant he was in another time.

"Please don't leave me, Mr. Stark."

His voice sounded so pathetic, so small and scared and just like it had that day-

Tony took a sharp breath in. "It's okay. You're okay. I'm not leaving you, okay?" _Okay, okay, okay._

Tony wrapped his hand around Peter's, pulling it off of his chest and resting it on his jaw. It had quickly become the most effective way to deal with Peter's intense panic episodes. As expected, Peter sighed, burying his head in Tony's neck and waiting for the pain to be over.

"I love you, Underoos," Tony whispered. "Goodnight."

He tugged softly at the curls on Peter's head until a soft snore sounded from his shoulder.

_Goodnight, kid._


	2. Hold On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my body is self-destructing and i have a lot of emotions about Endgame so here you go. i hope you're having an amazing day!!

_"Peter? Peter, can you hear me?"_

_There's something like static, raspy and deafening. Tony doesn't understand where the noise is coming from; the comms? The sky? Underneath his feet? His own head? His heart jumped when he heard what sounded like Peter sobbing._

_"It's like home," he cried, his voice shaking. The pain and terror coating his words were almost too much for Tony to bare. "It's like home, but it's so dark. And empty." His voice was cut off by him screaming. Tony fell to his knees, searching desperately for the source of the noise. He was so close to Peter; if he could just reach out...hold him.._

_"And it's cold..." His words were becoming garbled by his own fear. Tony found himself crying along to Peter's begging. "The agony..."_

_Tony collapsed to his elbows, cradling his head in his hands. "Mr. Stark, please. I don't want to go, sir, please. Please-"_

_Quiet._

_Suddenly, all was..._

_quiet._

_A sob tore through Tony's chest._

"Sir?" 

He jolted awake when he felt hands on him. Peter jumped back, eyes wary and filled with tears. Tony looked wildly around him as the nightmare melted away. It was replaced with his walls, his bed, his kid. His kid. He was okay. Alive. Not in the bad place anymore. 

Tony held out one welcoming arm, and Peter stumbled forward, hesitant. 

"Mr. Stark, sir, you were having a nightmare. I'm sorry if I-" 

"Don't be sorry, kid. Come here." 

Peter took a few steps forward. He placed one knee on the bed, and then gave in, falling heavily into Tony's chest. He clung onto his midsection.  

"What was it about?" 

Tony dragged a shaking hand through Peter's curls, trying to will away the bad thoughts. He was here, he was real. Nothing could take this kid away from him now. He wouldn't let it. They sat in silence for a while, Tony trying to decide whether it was worth upsetting the kid. There's so much Tony needed to tell him before he left. So, so much. 

_Peter, you are worthy of so many things. You are intelligent, brave, and strong. You're going to be okay. Despite everything in this world that wills you not to be, you will be okay._

Tony was shaken from his thoughts when Peter sighed in content. He realized that he had been untangling the curls in Peter's messy hair for a few minutes now. "Don't worry about it," he finally answered. "Just go back to sleep, kid. It's over." He didn't know what time it was or if Peter had even been sleeping when he woke Tony up, but he desperately needed for both of them to be unconscious right now. 

The nightmares would come back. They always did. They were always there, pressing at the backs of his eyelids, but it would be okay. As long as he could always wake up to this, to tight hugs and the kid's stupid messy hair, it would be okay. 

_It's so dark..._

Tony closed his eyes, steeling himself for the conversation he knew would have to happen one day. 

_And it's cold._

"Kid?" 

Peter hummed, soft and low against Tony's chest.

_It's so empty._

"Where did you go? After the...after it happened. Where were you? Were you in an alternate universe? What was going on?" Peter's fist suddenly tightened its hold on Tony's shirt. His eyes flew open and glazed over. He seemed to be remembering. Remembering. 

Tony tried to ignore the way the kid's body jerked against his, flailing for calm in the moments of panic he had caused. "It's okay, you don't have to answer. I was just curious. It's okay. It's over." A pause. Then, so quietly Peter almost didn't hear it, "Did it hurt?" 

This time, a sob shook Peter's frame. Tony cursed himself for even asking as he pushed himself into a half-sitting position. He held Peter tightly against him, breathing calming breaths into his hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Kid, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to." 

Peter stared at a fixed point on the wall over Tony's chest. He tried not to remember the pain racking through his body, the way the empty sky took him for her own. He could hear the yells of the others dusted, the screams of the ones in pain as he was. He could see the shadows moving about him, shifting into the darkness. He could remember Starlord's voice ("Yo, you're the spider kid") and the way he convulsed when Quill had tried to touch him ("Woah, kid. You alright?"). 

He tried desperately to shut out the voices, but they were too loud now. 

"Mr. Stark?" he said quietly. He closed his eyes and focused on the way Tony rubbed his thumb over the short hairs on the back of his neck. 

"Yes, kid?" 

"It hurt." 

_("Spider-boy. What's up with you? Why are you in pain and I'm not? Is it because I'm...I'm half god? What are you, anyway?")_

Tony sighed, scratching at the curls right above Peter's ear. "I'm so sorry, kid." Peter neglected to tell him about how he cried for Tony in the days after being dusted. How the darkness never let up, how Quill had tried to console him but ultimately couldn't. Tony didn't have to know about the way he and the Starlord had sat together, how he felt every atom ripping itself apart and then putting itself back together again every second he was there. 

He wouldn't tell him about how Pepper was there. About how she tried to push the hair from his forehead, but he screamed in such pain that she immediately retracted her touch. He wouldn't tell him about the scars covering him now. He wouldn't tell him. Everything would be okay. 

_(Peter Quill's face slowly came into focus. Peter couldn't stop himself before asking, "Where's Mr. Stark?"_

_"Who, the douchebag with the iron suit?"_

_"Where's Mr. Stark?" Peter gasped it this time, feeling panic rising in his throat._

_"Calm down before you hurt yourself, man."_

_"I need him." Tears sprung into his eyes._

_"What we need is a miracle, and that asshole is far from it."_

_"I need my dad."_

_Pause._

_"Tony Stark is...your dad?")_

 

"Please don't go." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway i keep watching That Scene in infinity war again and it's killing me.  
> i hope you enjoyed!  
> -j


End file.
